FATHER

FATHER

The first thing to understand is that the father is the first man you meet in your life and when you cannot love your father you cannot really love any other man. A father is always a representative of all other men, just as a mother is a representative of all women.

If you are not at peace with your father, one possibility is that you still expect or want something from him. That will keep you tied to him, in a state of hope, and will prevent you from really coming close to any other man. Hope is a dangerous state, a miserable state, and as we know, hopes never get fulfilled! So one remains stuck and cannot move forward in life.

One may actually look for a man in order get from him what one could not get or still misses from one’s father. This is bound to be a very frustrating experience. Because, for our unconscious mind, no man can be a match for our own father; every man will fall short and never will live up to comparisons with one’s own father. So, on one side, we search for a man, for the ‘right’ man, of course! And who is the ‘right’ man? The one who can be the ‘better’ father! And, on the other side, we will believe, unconsciously, that this man is not as good as our father. Then we will, at some point, do everything to get rid of him. Then the search continues without ever coming to a completion, because no man can really ever replace one’s own father......